Because You Say So

I am not naturally an obedient person (Mom, sit down…). I am naturally stubborn and want my own way. I know that I’m right. I see things for what they are and consider myself a realist. It is what it is. This doesn’t make me an easy person for God to work with.

So, why does He? Why in the world would He call someone like me to serve in West Africa? It really boggles my mind. I DO know that God is wise and that He is eternal and has knowledge way beyond mine. All I can say is, it’s because He is more stubborn than I am. He’s determined to make an obedient servant out of me. But, no, it's not the same kind of stubbornness. I am confident in His unfailing love for me. I've seen it in my life as He has blessed me way beyond what this stubborn girl merits. And because He loves me so much, I love Him.

I recently re-read a passage I’ve read many times before, but this time, the words nearly knocked me off my feet. Let me preface this by saying, with all my stubbornness, I have stuck it out a long time through tough situations in ministry in West Africa. This kind of stubbornness comes only by the strength that the Lord has given me through His Spirit (this I know for sure). But, I came back to the US burnt out a few months ago. Tired.  Weary and worn. We hadn’t seen much fruit. We went as fishers of men, but hadn’t “caught” much.

I began to argue with the Lord, when, after He was working healing in my heart, began to gently remind me of His call on my life.

“God, do you see how ineffective I’ve been?”

“Lord, it is just too hard!”

“But, there are people here in America that need me!”

“I just can’t do it anymore! What do I have left to give?”

I have a brother I love to read about in the New Testament that also argued with the Lord. Peter had been fishing all night with his partners, James and John. They had had little sleep. Their arms, shoulders and backs ached with the frequent tossing of heavy nets over the sides of the boat. They were hungry for a hot meal. They were discouraged because a full night’s worth of work accomplished nothing that they could take to market and bring some money home to their families. But, Peter encountered an amazing Savior that, even in his stubbornness and exhaustion, after a moment of hesitation and a bit of argument, he just had to obey.

Jesus had been teaching  the crowds about the Kingdom of God from the end of Peter’s boat. He carefully untangled the nets (empty of fish), clearing debris and tossing it off the side, all the while listening deep into his heart to what Jesus was teaching. I believe it stirred Peter more than he’d ever been stirred before, being close to this humble man that taught with such extraordinary love and authority. There was something incredible about Him that Peter couldn’t put his finger on. And, when Jesus paused from His teaching, seemingly to the crowds on the shore, and turned to speak to Peter, I imagine that he started a bit and his hands fumbled with the nets.

When [Jesus] had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.”

Simon answered, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.” Luke 5:4-5 NIV

Peter knew fishing like few others did. He grew up in a fisherman's family. He could watch the sky and tell what the weather was going to be like. He knew how to tell where the fish were likely to bite. He could prepare and repair the nets almost in his sleep. Jesus was known as the son of a carpenter. What did he know about fishing? But there was something in the way that Jesus spoke that made Peter want to obey.

Did you read what Peter said to Jesus after his brief argument? “But because you say so…” I can imagine that he must have emphasized the “you” part of that phrase. There must have been something about who Jesus was and how He taught that let Peter know, despite the fact he knew fishing from a lifetime in the family business, this man was unlike anyone he ever knew. I believe it was a combination of the authority and love with which Jesus spoke that gave Peter the small seed of faith to know that there must be a difference with this man that he should trust Him.

You know the “rest of the story” as Paul Harvey used to say. They had a miraculous catch of fish that caused their nets to begin to tear. Jesus called Peter, James and John to follow Him so that He could make them fishers of men. They immediately left their nets, and probably friends and family that had been fishing, as well, and they followed him. They followed Jesus throughout His ministry, heard more teaching about the Kingdom, saw Jesus heal the sick, give sight to the blind, even raise the dead. They saw the crowds flock to Jesus and hang on His every word. But then, Peter saw Him seized by angry people, beaten and spat on, mocked and nailed to a cross. Out of fear, when confronted by people around the courtyard where Jesus was being abused, Peter denied with profanity that he even knew this person. Then, he watched the Savior that he had come to love crucified. His broken body was wrapped and placed in a tomb and sealed off. It seemed that the most wonderful 3 year of his life had crashed and burned and there was no one to pick up the pieces.

Then, a few days later, Peter saw the empty tomb. Jesus said that He would rise from the dead. What is happening? What have I done? Where is he? Where is my Jesus?!

One early morning after Jesus rose from the dead, Peter, James and John were trying to make sense of all that had happened in the days since they first came to Jerusalem and Jesus rode in on a donkey. SO MUCH had happened. It was overwhelming. One of the men looked at the other and said, "Let's go fishing." While they were fishing, Jesus came to them. He asked them if they caught any fish. At this point, he was just your average man asking about the catch. But then He did something familiar. Despite their poor results thus far, Jesus told them to cast their nets out again. Again, as what had happened when Jesus first called them, they had more fish filling their nets than they would have ever imagined. John exclaimed, "It's the Lord!" Peter immediately dove in and did the breast stroke (or whatever stroke is fastest!) right to the shore.

Of course, by the time he was stepping out of the water, with water dripping from his beard, seeing His Precious Lord, Jesus in front of him, Peter remembered that he had denied even knowing Jesus. And, worse than that, he knew that Jesus knew it. But, Jesus, our Master who is filled with love and authority, restored a right relationship with Peter again. He asked Peter three times, "Do you love me?" And Peter, though broken and ashamed, couldn't help but say, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you." "Then, feed my sheep." What Peter had done, whatever inadequacies had didn't matter. All that mattered was that Peter love Jesus and obey Him.

About a month later, Peter and the other disciples watched Jesus ascend into heaven, then a few weeks later, received the Spirit He had promised, and became the fishers of men that He called them to be 3 years earlier. As the disciples of Jesus, they also fed His sheep, as Jesus called Peter to do over a fresh breakfast of grilled fish.

I am like Peter. I have no ability in myself to be a fisher of men. I have an elementary teacher's certification and I'm a pretty good teacher, but a missionary in West Africa? Ha! Like Peter, I have failed Jesus miserably and been unfaithful to Him. But, I’ve been with the Lord. He has restored me over and over again. I’ve experienced His love and authority in my life. I’ve learned that Jesus is worthy of my trust. And, He has been faithful to give me His Spirit, which teaches me, strengthens me, and guides me on the path He has prepared for me. I have experienced what it's like to feel inadequate and weak and see the Lord work through me miraculously. I love Jesus so much and because of my love for Him, my deepest desire is to obey Him. Really, it is only my obedience that I have to give Him as a demonstration of my love. I may argue with the Lord a bit, but because of who He is, when He tells me to go, I say, “But, because YOU say so…”