One of THOSE Days

I spent the day today out in one of my favorite villages, a place where my white face is no longer an oddity, and where I’ve shared about the Lord I love more than anywhere else in this region. It was a special day, as one of my young friends had her second baby boy and they were celebrating him receiving his name publicly, which occurs on the 8^th day after the baby is born. People came by foot and horse cart from several villages in the area to give gifts, blessings, visit, eat and dance to congratulate this family in the birth of a new child.

My friends proudly introduced me, telling everyone that they should greet me in their language, because I speak it “cleanly.” At first, it’s strange to me to be reminded that I look different than the others. I dress like them, speak like them, even can joke and gesture like they do, but I look very different. I’m tall, with lighter-colored hair, and very light skin. Many of the rest of them are shorter than I am, with black or dark brown hair, and beautiful chocolate-colored skin. When I’m with people that know me well, I almost forget what I look like, because I identify so closely with them.

But, there is something else that sets me apart and this is what causes my heart to ache. I have put my full trust in Jesus Christ for my salvation, knowing that there is nothing else that can bring me into an eternal relationship with Almighty God. These people talk so easily about God: blessing Him in the midst of conversation (“The crops are growing well, thank God.”….”Our family is fine and no one is sick, praise God.”). But, if you ask them if they know what will happen when they die, they hope that God will forgive their sins and accept them…. There is no surety in their eternity or confidence in a loving relationship with Him.

This is why I’m here. This is why, each time I pack up my belongings, say many tearful goodbyes to family and friends, I get on the plane to return. You see, I know that most of my family in America has the same faith in Jesus that I have. It really hurts to say goodbye to them, and I miss them so much when I’m thousands of miles away and miss being a part of my two older children’s lives and activities. But, I know that our separation is temporary in relation to eternity. I say goodbye for a short time to those that I love in America, so that I might be a part of what God is doing to bring these beautiful people into our eternal family. Then, there will be no more goodbyes. For any of us.

As I was driving home from the baby-naming celebration, the sun was setting. I dropped off several ladies who lived in a village on my way home and they invited me to come visit them sometime soon. As the sky turned a golden hue and the sun dipped down into the horizon, my chest began to heave, as it does when I’m filled with compassion for my children. I realized, once more, what intense love I have for my people. This compassion is laced with longing. I met so many new friends today, shook so many hands, danced, laughed, and shared stories of life and home and children. Each sweet smiling face I encountered flooded into my mind as I flipped on my headlights. “Oh Lord,” I prayed, “there are so many. I love them so much. I want them to come to know and love you like I do. Show me how I can be a part of what you’re doing.”

Lately, my calling has been somewhat ratty and worn. I have been grieving, struggling with loneliness, missing too many people, and questioning myself, “why am I still doing this?” This was one of those days that reminds me why. As my thoughts and prayers mingled, my phone was playing worship music. The song, “You Revive Me” started to play. It was just what I needed to hear after a day like today.

You revive me

You revive me, Lord

And all my deserts are rivers of joy

You are the treasure I could not afford

So I’ll spend myself till I’m empty and poor

All for You

You revive me, Lord.

 

You see, though I do love my people SO, SO much. I love my Jesus SO, SO much more. The moving in my heart and spirit at times overwhelms me with the love I have for Him. It is greater than the love of my people, of my children, even than the love of my husband. It’s hard to believe that anyone could love that much. But, I have a deep, eternal relationship with my God who is, Himself, LOVE.

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

 

I John 4:7-10 NIV 

I thought about this passage as I came to the outskirts of my town, audibly scolding myself for doubting my calling. Oh how much He loves me! What a small thing I’m doing in comparison to what He has done!  

Thank you, Lord, for letting me be a small part of your expression of love for these people. If I can show even a glimpse of Your love among them by proclaiming the Son You sent into the world, please let me. Because, Oh LORD, how I love you.

 

Thanks for giving me yet another one of those days. I needed that.