This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of
the Lord’s people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God. Because of the
service by which you have proved yourselves, others will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your
confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in
sharing with them and with everyone else. And in their prayers for you their hearts will go out to
you, because of the surpassing grace God has given you.
2 Cor. 9:12-14 NIV
If there is one thing I have desired since I surrendered my life to
follow Christ in obedience to His call as a teenage girl, it is that I would
bring glory to His Name. Very seldom has it been easy to obey. The Lord has
called me over and over again to do the hard things. And, as other believers in
Jesus have praised me for my obedience, honestly, it has been irritating to me,
because I know myself and the internal turmoil that inevitably takes place as I
wrestle with taking each step on the path the Lord has prepared for me. If it
weren’t for His Spirit having the victory through each wrestling match, I would
do what was easy or more comfortable.
Recently, my husband asked me to do something with him and said
that if it didn’t give me pleasure, then I shouldn’t do it. I accompanied him
in visiting someone, though it was uncomfortable for me, and honestly, I wanted
to run the opposite direction, but I did it anyway. He then asked me to join
him in another visit where I’d be visiting with someone that he knew and I didn’t,
and I didn’t know what to expect. That too, I didn’t see beforehand that it
would “give me pleasure” to do it, and it’s not that it did please me in the ME
sense, but I saw how God worked through us to bring peace and joy to someone
who needed Truth spoken to her and the loving presence of Jesus in her home.
I am reluctant to do things that I have no control of the outcome
or there are too many moving parts, or shadows hiding possibly fearful things
lurking within. But, over and over again, all it took was that first step, and He
took control of the rest. His grace has never come up short. He has always
shown up in a big way, through His provision of resources and/or giving me the
words to say and to pray as I met each difficulty or was ministering to someone
needing Him. As a result, I walk away from each situation awed by how the Lord
could use such a reluctant, even belligerent heart and shine through me for His
glory.
When I testify to brothers and sisters in Christ all He has done
and is doing and is able to do through all of us when we are obedient to Him,
ultimately it is for His glory and the advancement of His Kingdom, not just
where I am, but where they are, as well. And the Lord’s Kingdom advancing
all over the world is a pretty awesome by-product, don't you think?
Sometimes my grief and loneliness of missing loved ones clouds up
my brain so that I have trouble remembering His faithfulness in every moment of
my walk with Jesus. It’s like the static that blares out when you’re trying to tune
into your favorite radio station. You want so much to hear the music and sing
along, but the reception is skewed and the static drowns out the sound. I
desperately need Him to be my tuner. I need Jesus to help me to find focus and
clarity so that the beautiful music of the joy of my salvation and obedience to
Him is all I hear. When I am tuned into Him and see what He does and who He is, I testify about Him to others who, through the Spirit's miraculous work, are better able to tune in where they are in their walk. Of course, He sees my tears and provides comforting grace to overcome the obstacles, and to make those hard choices, but I need His Spirit
to help me to remember that He has always been, and will continue to be
faithful to help me to obey Him. And He receives the glory for all of it, because it was His work that did it. And, glorifying my Lord Jesus is all that I want.
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