A Timely Grace-Gift

I am a busy girl. I have been that way my entire life. I am detail-oriented, I don’t sleep much, and am constantly networking, scheduling, communicating, and just, well, being busy. My Mom told me I stopped taking naps at 2. When my husband met me as a freshman in college, I was involved in so many different activities that I literally had to schedule him into my life… like, on my calendar. Being still has always been an agonizing thing for me (and even when I'm still, my brain keeps going).

Being a mom to four kids and serving overseas has only made my planners become more detailed and full (color-coded, line-itemed, etc.). Even having grown kids in the US, I keep up with their lives to the point that when I know they have special events coming up (big tests, interviews, etc.), I put them on my calendar so that I can pray for them and ask about them later.

Fast forward to 2 months ago. We had to make the decision to leave the field. I had to do something that, even to this day, still grieves my heart. I HAD TO THROW AWAY MY PLANNER.

Now, for those of you who aren’t “Type A” like I am, you’re like, “Big deal!” For those of you who are like me, you know that it was a torturous moment, as I slowly flipped through the pages, filled with dates and activities, names of people and places, events that were now completely off the table for our next few months, at least.

I found a blank notebook, and as I made doctor appointments, arranged our flights and housing, I just wrote it in the notebook. I had no idea what the future held, but I could write down those details.

The first week we were in the US, I went to ROSS, which most of you know as a place to get brand-name clothing and house goods. I know, that in the back of the store, always holds the best treasure. Because, it’s there that I always find the nicest journals and planners. I’m not advertising for them here, but I’m just saying, this trip to the store was therapy for my still jet-lagged brain.

I walked down the disheveled shelves, where people had looked through the bound books, then tossed them haphazardly in messy piles. Ignoring my desire to organize them into neat stacks, I just calmly looked through each of the planners to find just the “right one” that would fit my needs of slowly writing out newly scheduled and soon to be scheduled events and activities. Reaching under flowery journals and fabric-bound sketch books, my hand stroked across a simple tan leather planner with a zipper enclosure. When I pulled it out from under the other books, my breath caught when I read the quote on the front.

I unzipped the beautifully-embossed leather, which felt like the saddle of a horse I rode once, long ago, and slowly turned the first few pages. The first month in the planner was not January, at the beginning of the year, or August, which would normally be the beginning of a school year planner… it was September, which was starting just a couple of days from this day I was searching for a planner. What are the chances?

And, each month had a theme. For September, “A Joyful Heart.” For October, “Living in Gratitude.” And, for November, “Peace in the Stillness.” Each week has a Bible verse and a quote from a different person in history that goes along with the month’s theme… so that you can reflect on the words and consider them as you write out your plans.

Some people might think that this is just a coincidence. But, through years of walking dark paths with only the Lord to hold my hand at times, I’ve learned that He gives me timely grace-gifts…. Special reminders that He sees me, knows my heart, loves me immensely, and will not leave me.

I stood in front of that long, messy bookshelf and threw my head back and quietly cry-laughed, thanking Him for the gift. Some lady quickened her pace and pushed her cart past me, but I didn’t mind. The One who had come before me and placed that planner on the shelf so that I could find it in that particular store, I just know, had a loving and satisfied smile on His face, like a loving Father would when he gives a timely perfect gift to the child he loves. Yes, I paid for it (it was around $5), but considering the money in my wallet is his, it was from Him.

We are still walking in uncertainty, as we look at the future, if we look at the circumstances. But, we are in the hands of a loving Father who knows just what we need, and when we need it. That is enough grace to sustain us. So, all we need to do is just be still, and know who He is. He’s got the rest in His book.